Insecurities, And Overcoming Them

Beauty is not in the flesh

Insecure is a trait I would use to secretly describe myself as a teenager. Although I couldn’t spell out the words, I knew the feeling very well. The feeling of comparing myself to other girls, or questioning my features, constantly staring in the mirror, or feeling invisible around beautiful friends. Where did these insecurities come from? I remember growing up, I received a lot of compliments for being a pretty girl, so when did things change? How did I go from feeling pretty to this ugly insecure persona. I was often teased for my appearances, which caused me to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I didn’t love myself due to the fact I grew up in an environment where self love was not taught. At times I often questioned my existence, questioning God asking him why I wasn’t blessed with any beauty. I felt lost and trapped in a body I did not want.

My twenties was a journey of self discovery. At 20 years old I started to look at myself through the eyes of others. I felt validated when people found me attractive so therefore I concluded I was somewhat attractive. On the other hand when faced with rejection, I felt ugly again.

Loving The skin I’m in Fiercely

My 24th birth anniversary was my rebirth. I stared in the mirror for what felt like an hour, and just cried. I was rebuilding my relationship with God. Through that, I felt the burden of years of insecurities weighing me down.

I started to love myself when I accepted the skin I’m in. My spirit wasn’t going to jump in another body, therefore I learned how to love my own starting from the inside and out. It was a process building my confidence and to this day I'm still on my journey of self discovery.

After having a real moment, I started taking care of myself mentally, spiritually and physically. I replaced old habits with discipline and structure, and created a daily routine. My next blog post I'm going to dive deeper into what my daily routines consist of.

My daily routines are very important because it sets the tone for the day. Every morning I thank God for waking me up and start my day with prayer. Followed by 10 minutes of meditation where I’m able to detach myself from the world and reclaim my peace of mind. My spiritual practices became my daily routine. My spiritual goal is to raise my vibrations. For years I’ve had low vibrations because of my insecurities, by building my confidence I will vibrate at an higher frequency. Transitioning my mindset where I’m kind to myself. No longer needing validations or praises from people. I also started saying “I love you” to myself when looking into the mirror. I can feel myself growing out of my shell and becoming comfortable in my flesh. I have accepted who I am .

I am on a Love Journey.

Unconditional Love Starts With Self Love.